Did You Know That Our Brains ‘Automate’ Other People?

Just like learning to ride a bike, once our brain masters the process, it ‘automates’ it - freeing us from having to think about every pedal and turn.

Surprisingly, we do something similar with people!

Our brains like to be efficient, so once we think we’ve figured someone out - how they feel, think, and react - we go on autopilot. We assume we already know who they are and how they’ll respond. But here’s the thing … people change.

As we grow through life, we learn, evolve, and shift. Our thoughts, feelings, and reactions don’t stay static - and yet, our brains often forget to update their ‘files’ on those closest to us.

In relationships, this can create tension.

If you and your partner seem to be having the same arguments again and again, chances are you’re both reacting to the version of each other that your brains automated years ago. You might be missing the opportunity to see each other as you truly are - right now.

A simple but powerful step to reconnecting is to get curious again.

Consciously take time to get to know your partner in this present moment. Ask questions you haven’t asked in a while. Notice how they’ve grown, changed, and deepened as a person.

At Kerrich Counselling, we help couples and individuals understand how the brain, emotion, and connection all interplay - so you can break free from old patterns and rediscover each other with openness and compassion.